Something to Celebrate

Periwinkle bouquet

“Everyone I know has been in a terrible mood for weeks,” my California friend Robin remarked in a phone conversation recently. I had been complaining about my own black mood. “That sums up what all my Florida friends are saying lately. Maybe it's because it’s been so damn hot, you know, the dog days of summer. Makes everyone cranky.” My answer didn’t solve my crankiness, which further annoyed me. 

I thought long and hard over our conversation. A friend in my writer’s group said, “It seems like people are always angry. They’re honking at other drivers, screaming out their windows, for no apparent reason..” I remembered my latest grocery store experience. There were battles to be first on a checkout line, screaming parents yelling at their kids, people arguing in aisles over the last can of  Tutorosa Italian Peeled tomatoes.  Some are drawn into these battles, like drivers slowing down for a car crash. 

I strive to avoid the elephant in the room, which could be the cause of black moods, politics and religion. These subjects always drive people apart and deeper into their protected camps. I studiously avoid the news, divorcing myself from the fury on the airwaves, the misinformation, the accusations. Occasionally the vitriol spews forth before I can switch channels fast enough to get to my favorite True Crime murder and mayhem shows. “I’d rather watch crime shows than all the political battles.”  I tell my beloved as he frowns at another murder I’m drawn to. 

Baby Cardinal waiting to be fed by Dad

My black mood continued when suddenly, something unexpected happened. All who know me know how I adore bird-watching. Recently I spied a family of cardinals, mom, dad and two fledglings. Mom and dad were leaping around with their offspring on our patio table. I’m sure the parents were teaching their kids some important aviary life lesson but to me it looked like they were playing tag. Clearly, our backyard residents were having fun. I realized this was a gift from my aviary friends, something to celebrate, which was unexpectedly presented to me. 

Red Shouldered Hawk on feeder

I was reminded of Byrd Bailor’s wonderful book,  I’m In Charge of Celebrations. I decided to look for other positive  joys and celebrations. We’ve been having a beautiful, breezy fall. With the cooling temperatures  I have returned to my morning walks. Gardens and window boxes are blooming. Huge purple spiders decorate one house, a looming skeleton, another. Neighbors are walking dogs, chatting together, laughing, running, riding bikes and skateboards. The world is teeming with birdsong. A Hawk watches the Hillsborough River, its gentle waves bright with diamond reflected sunlight. Could this be the one that astoundingly showed up on our Birdfy feeder one day? At night, the Hunters Moon lights up our bedroom. I can’t remember ever seeing a brighter, bigger moon than the ones we’ve witnessed over the last few months. 

Gardenia in my glass garden

Another amazing event arrived on the trunk of my car. I admit it, I have become a suspicious person, probably from watching too many crime shows. From my front door I watched three kids standing at the rear of my car, looking intently at the trunk. Uh Oh, I thought, did one of my car’s bumper stickers get their attention and offend them? Were they looking in my car to see if there was anything to steal? I called out from my door, “Hi kids, need anything?” They shook their heads and the youngest of the three, a cute little girl, said, “No, we’re fine,” and skipped off.  She called “bye” to me and waved over her shoulder as the two older children followed her. They looked perfectly innocent, but I couldn’t figure out how the rear end of my could have piqued their interest? After their departure I walked to my car and discovered that a sweet tiny bouquet of periwinkles had been carefully arranged on the trunk of my car. I realized how much a small kindness could outweigh any negativity. One unexpected bouquet of flowers taught me a lesson and brightened my world for days. Thank you, I wrote on a note taped to my mailbox, which I knew the kids would see on their walk home from school. I wanted to acknowledge their simple act of kindness, a celebration of their youth.

My Vermont sister, Sherrie, gifted me with another celebration. “Well, I saved a bird’s life today.” She said, In my mind’s eye, I could see her puffing up like a happy Wren. “Really? How did you do that?” I asked, breathlessly.

“I had put a net over part of our berry-bush to keep the birds out, so we’d finally have a harvest.  This morning I found a Pileated Woodpecker caught in the net. I ran to the house, got scissors and a towel. I carefully placed the towel over the woodpecker, moved him to the ground, and cut the netting away from his foot. Finally he was free, but he still laid on the ground, even after I unwrapped the towel. He waited a moment, just looking around. Just like that, he looked at me, opened his wings and flew off. Oh! It was such a moment, the way he flew off, unharmed.”

Fireflies synchronized flashing

“Wow, if that wasn't a gift from nature, I don’t know what is, I said.  Suddenly I was reminded of another celebration years earlier: fireflies exploding like fireworks in the darkness. As a child their unexpected illumination lit up my path. They were always just out of reach. I remember the sorrow I felt when I caught one to carefully place in a jar. Her light had dimmed, and I realized her phosphorescent dust covered my fingertips. My sorrow turned to joy when I released the firefly and she happily flew off. I ran after her with glowing fingertips. I was dancing with fireflies, celebrating their lanterns in the darkening twilight. For a moment, I had become one myself. 

Winter Wear Campaigns, Canada

As I was mulling over how small happy unexpected events affect our lives and blot out the things that upset us, a Facebook “Sustainable Human” post caught my attention. Called “Winter Wear Campaigns” and "Scarf Bombing,” Canadians leave surprises hung in trees and along paths for their fellow citizens when temperatures drop. All across Canada people leave coats, gloves, scarves and hats on tree branches. A note is placed in the fold of each item, “If you’re cold, take one.” What a lovely "bomb" a scarf, coat or hat would be to a person freezing in the snow covered streets and forests across Canada.  This unexpected act of kindness warms the heart and the bodies of Canadians, and brightened my day. Here was something else to celebrate about the good of human nature. “Compassion hanging in plain sight, turning the harshness of winter into something gentle, human and hopeful,” the post read.

Another Facebook post told of a doctor who realized one of his ICU, critically ill patients was trying to tell him something, while pointing to a photo on his bedside table. “We’ll talk later,” he told his patient. But later never came. After his patient’s death the doctor finally looked at the photograph. It was of  the man and his wife, in youthful days. They were proudly standing outside of a grocery store under a sign which read, "Chens Grocers." It deeply affected this physician. He realized he had missed an opportunity to connect with a dying patient. He had been paying more attention to the patient’s medical file than to the patient himself. At that moment he vowed to change his bedside manner. He bought a small moleskin journal and now asks each of his patients, ‘Tell me one thing about yourself that I won’t find in your medical file.' The floodgates opened and the good doctor scribbled into his notebook, celebrating their lives. The words of his patients drew this physician closer to humanity through his own act of kindness. 

Every person has a story to tell, pieces of ourselves, our lives and hearts to share. This kind doctor realized that he had been apart from life’s stories and each person’s inner self, their happy, celebratory and sad moments: their humanity.

As a writer, I am always looking for stories. I spy and eavesdrop in grocery stores, restaurants and on my walks. I yearn to discover the hidden tales within each of us. These words of a physician opened my eyes to the necessity of asking about others. Not their politics, or their religion, but themselves.

I imagine everyone has at least one shining moment in their lives, one hope they dream of, and celebrate.  It could be their flower garden, a special recipe, an antique they inherited from a family member, or the story attached to that ancient piece of furniture.  It can be anything. The telling of their story is a simple act of kindness given to a friend or stranger, that gives value,  something to celebrate.

I will continue to smell the gardenias, roses and periwinkles. While I will not ignore the world, I will sort through everyday events and choose the things to celebrate. There is something within each of us that gives us pride and is worth sharing, hidden in the busy-ness of our days.  

We are all in charge of celebrations in our everyday lives. These simple unexpected treasures are acts of  kindness we can give to ourselves. Smell the roses. Listen to what enhances our world, connecting with the diverse garden of humanity. We are in charge of the celebrations of our everyday

lives.

Along the way, don’t forget to celebrate yourself!