Escape From My Mental Bog
I have been trying for weeks to develop ideas, thoughts, meanderings for a new Food For Thought blog entry. It usually takes me a couple of weeks to bring an idea into the fruition of a fresh story.
Sadly, my mind has been blank. Random thoughts scuttle into darkness like bats flying from the light of day. Netflix, PBS, Hulu and CBSN tempt and anesthetize me. I have felt disgruntled and disgusted, my mood as torpid as our soggy, sauna-like Tampa weather. Why am I so vacant, so addled, so out of sorts and unable to think clearly, let alone write.
I have been anxious, waiting out this election. I am angry at people not wearing masks or social distancing and believing Coronavirus is a “hoax.” It was suggested by a dear friend that we all lie on the floor together and scream in a shared tantrum. This idea appeals. Not only would I be able to get together with my women friends but we could all vent together. While wearing masks, of course, and social distancing. A pitcher of Margaritas after our tantrum would be another stellar event. I have put this idea on a back burner in case we needed to throw fits more desperately in the near future.
After deep thought and cabin fever hysteria I thought of a better idea. I began researching the safety of hotel and restaurant regulations and their cleaning policies and Covid precautions. An added inducement was the raising of Florida hotel rates as of November first. Due to the uncertainty of a Covid future we might not have another travel opportunity until mid-2021. We made a decision. We would go to St. Augustine and Daytona Beach for two days to cleanse our souls as well as our brains.
For two blissful days we watched sunrises and sunsets. We were caressed by Atlantic breezes and the chatter and laughter of children five stories below us at the pool. Tim was able to renew his surfer days by body surfing in the waves of the Atlantic. We dined on outdoor patios while watching dolphins play in the surf. Having someone else cook and serve me meals was exactly what I needed, even though I love to cook. All night long the wind struck musical chords on waves and through mangroves and palm trees. St. Augustine and Daytona Beach fulfilled and renewed us.
I realized where my thoughts had flown, evaporated, my muse departed. The past months of Coronavirus fears, election vitriol and disgust had wiped my brain cells clean of creativity. I had closed off my emotions, senses and my inner world, too busy anesthetizing myself to ease the pain of being cut off from family, friends and travel. I had closed the doors to my mind. My spirit was evaporating. Words of joy had flown into the abyss of 2020. I could not write because I was not allowing myself to connect to my spiritual touchstones and joys. I had been swept away by the tidal wave of things outside of myself and my control. I was not living in the moment. I was not allowing myself to “just be here now.”
For those blissful Daytona Beach get-away days the only sounds were crashing waves and ocean breezes obliterating the sounds of the TV, my phone, the internet and rally cries.
Our last night on Daytona Beach I fell to sleep listening to the waves outside our patio. They washed away the fog in my brain and allowed me a respite from our current world. The escape to Daytona renewed me. I was finally able to write again, albeit not a long blog, but at least an escape from my mental and emotional bog.
The morning we departed the sunrise was the most magnificent we had witnessed on any beach, ever. The beginning of a new day was just what I needed for the beginning of a new Food for Thought entry.